An anti-narrative
here are a few things I know about stories
Some of these things are true and some of them lies. But they are all good stories.
—Hilary Mantel
We don’t live life, we live stories
We do not live life. Life is much too wild and raw and chaotic and frankly doesn’t make a lot of sense. So, we add structure via narrative. We live a series of stories.
We choose the story we know over the one we don’t know
We mistake what is familiar for what is good because we can’t tell the difference between relief and joy.
We tend to get stuck in stories
Because change is scary. Because we don’t realize we’re stuck. Because we’re not consciously aware of the story. Because it’s a story we’ve been hearing for so long we don’t realize it’s a story. Because letting go of a story you’ve depended on can feel like letting go of reality. Because we’re safer in the story. Because we can predict what happens in the story. Because we can’t think of a different story.
We do what the stories tell us, mostly
The easiest way to lead people is not with demands or threats. It’s with stories. We all love stories. The stories we love most are the ones in which we play a central role.
If you want to manipulate someone, you tell a good story. You make them part of it: a main character. A protagonist. A hero.
You hook their interest. You lead them into a narrative. You get them emotionally invested. Then you tell the story you want them to believe about themselves and the world they’re in. After that, you don’t even have to tell them exactly what to do. Just remind them of the story and their role in it. They’ll fill in the blanks.
We have to get bad at old stories to get good at new stories
To move out of the stories we’ve been living, and into new ones, we have to unlearn the things that kept us safe and alive in the old stories. We have to unlearn those habits, let go of those beliefs, release those behaviors and learn new ways of thinking, doing, and being.
What got you here won’t get you there.
—Marshall Goldsmith
Almost all stories are about power
Not all the stories. Not the best ones. But most of them.
All stories are fantasies
Some are much better than others.
🍽 What helped me in the past will not help me in the future unless my goal is to keep repeating the past. Speaking of goals, it’s time for lunch.